The Hardest Thing
Jun. 30th, 2013 10:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sbpd_papabearHe's been a cop as long as he can remember, it feels like - retiring was the hardest thing ever did outside of signing the divorce papers. Really, they were one in the same. When she left... when Maddie left... nothing felt right anymore. Not watching Shawn piss his life away. Not sleeping in his own house.
Certainly not serving on the force. Not when he couldn't go a night without drinking until he manage to sleep or when making an arrest never felt like enough. He could never do enough... never be enough.
Henry Spencer came back from Florida a change man, and suddenly he could be helpful again. Living in their house - his house now - wasn't as hard as it had been, and every day it got a little easier.
And then Karen. Karen Vick changed his life. She was the one who brought him back to the force, granted only in an advisory position but still it was just like being a detective again.
Karen was the one who let him be the man he needed to be again. The man that fell in love with her.
He has to do it, he has to make things right so that they can be together without putting her job and his credibility in jeopardy - they've already come far too close and sooner or later they will have to go public with what is going on.
It is with a heavy heart,
His pen shakes as he writes, the tip of his tongue rolling over his lower lip as he forces himself to write the same lines he'd written a lifetime ago. Keeping it professional, to the point, he finishes with quick strokes of the pen.
I am afraid that I must formally resign my position as contractor liaison with the Santa Barbara Police Department.
It's time to open a new chapter in his life and take what may come with it. For her sake. For his sake. It's time.
Henry Spencer
Certainly not serving on the force. Not when he couldn't go a night without drinking until he manage to sleep or when making an arrest never felt like enough. He could never do enough... never be enough.
Henry Spencer came back from Florida a change man, and suddenly he could be helpful again. Living in their house - his house now - wasn't as hard as it had been, and every day it got a little easier.
And then Karen. Karen Vick changed his life. She was the one who brought him back to the force, granted only in an advisory position but still it was just like being a detective again.
Karen was the one who let him be the man he needed to be again. The man that fell in love with her.
He has to do it, he has to make things right so that they can be together without putting her job and his credibility in jeopardy - they've already come far too close and sooner or later they will have to go public with what is going on.
It is with a heavy heart,
His pen shakes as he writes, the tip of his tongue rolling over his lower lip as he forces himself to write the same lines he'd written a lifetime ago. Keeping it professional, to the point, he finishes with quick strokes of the pen.
I am afraid that I must formally resign my position as contractor liaison with the Santa Barbara Police Department.
It's time to open a new chapter in his life and take what may come with it. For her sake. For his sake. It's time.
Henry Spencer